dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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