he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
sex in a hospital.. check
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
