i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
