Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
