i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize