We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
