Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
