no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
