if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
