Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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