just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
