Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You can't just leave with hair like that
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
