i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
