one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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