All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
