Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
