I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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