His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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