either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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