I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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