I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
