me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
