I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
