Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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