I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize