Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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