the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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