Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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