at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
