i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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