just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
