He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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