Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
