how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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