That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
