i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
