explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
why do cheetos always look like penises
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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