So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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