I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
