Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
