i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
