The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
