I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We left the knife in your bed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
