I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
