I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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