Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
