I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
