Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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