You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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