He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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