I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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