Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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