Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize