i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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