This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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