Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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