Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
