Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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