I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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